does it matter now?

woah another week has gone by, 2 more weeks and its poc.. finally going to pass out.. though the course was tough, but the times we shared tgt was really unforgettable, and it's definitely better than that in ndu.. smaller sections or i mean we were split up into sections where i dont even know what section means in ndu.. and the bunks were bigger too lol and having so many different personalities in my bunk certainly makes life worthwhile.. my buddy, neo, lol they call him metro coz he's really a bitch :p but he damn nice la and he has cool dance moves ^^ of course the chao geng ones too jason and vincent everytime book in sure get attd c one.. oh ho how abt mohan the indian guy in my bunk, the most interesting one of all.. lol he spends every weekend of his, erm this is up to u to guess.. and he even went to the extent of calling an escort for ytd chalet coz he cant find any dates to accompany him as he's from boy's sch since secondary *jaws dropped* ahaha and tai peng, having the most unique voice in the cohort, his voice is deeper than me sia and he very blurr one, very funny guy also

but sometimes the feeling of this kind of sian-ness just gets into u especially during bookouts.. i cant recall any bookouts that i felt happy before, everything has to be rushed, i rather take my time and let them confine me

outing with peeps was fun, ytd's chalet also, making me realise there are some small things in life, that is more impt than alot of bigger things out there

ytd while on my way home, i saw a drunken man on the bus, who i dont think he's conscious.. he sat on the seat, then the driver made a turn and pom, his head hits the floor, but luckily no injuries..

it leads me to this: does drinking brings u to another world? or does it solve any of ur problems? lol it only creates more problem.. and i doubt i will be drinking like i used to

and walking back home from cck to ut, the stretch of road i would walk after 'camping' at that block a few years ago, only a new shopping mall is visible and the bball court at kps is changed to a soccer field, nth really changed, except the man that the moonlight had shone on

life was so easy that time, basically wasting everyday where i still regret now.. ha when would i become like all the people ard me, whom possess intellect which seems greater than mine

sometimes i really misses the time in sec sch, where i would share stuffs with shawn, yl, mouse, fc.. but really, does all these matter now?

not a fighter

finally got my gold for ippt last week, wasnt that easy, but not that difficult too..it's all in the mind really

sounded out to sgt shaun that i wanna go to the leaders course but he said i'm too quiet.. and lok wei told me if i really wanna be a leader i really have to present myself, and kb more.. and he said 'either u want to be urself, or excel, choose one'

guess i'm just liddat.. still the same, what's being a person to me, maybe i'll just be forgotten in years to come.. maybe the impression that i've left isnt significant afterall

what vincent told me was really right, since i've already expressed my interest, i should do more.. not like those things i do in the bunk during standby, he says i do alot of things, positive abt everything and what i lack was a chance to prove myself

haha i beg to differ.. i'm not a fighter, but rather a sucker.. i suck everything up.. kenna fuck, lan lan suck it up.. tear gas chamber already suffering like mad but was the last to go out the chamber still suck it up.. kenna posted to changi which i originally should be attach and i've already suck-ed it up

ytd while waiting for the shuttle bus to tanah merah at changi.. the bus driver stopped and while i was walking towards it, the door started to close and the bus drove off.. i see liao damn sian but still i cant do anything abt it

maybe one day there's another variable appearing in the equation which has only space for 2, i might just become a fighter